Oh how we wish they didn’t. They take time, energy and sometimes a hit to the ego to correct properly.
They can also be great sources of lessons, if we let them.
Here’s a story about how a natural professional can stay in her power and do her darndest to own up to her mistakes with grace and ease.
OK, so the truth of the matter is that this story is a rather recent occurrence in the life of yours truly.
The first thing you should know is that the natural professional core program which is sanctioned by the Divine Soul-Based Gift Manifestation Bureau, is in super secret lab mode. You’d have to sneak in through my morning coffee or tea to be privy to this and, well, that’d just be too weird.
While I know it’s in development—and am THRILLED with its progress—there’s a part of me that wants it out in the world about 783 days ago. (Hello, Impatience!!)
So when I met a lovely woman who’s practicing all kinds of natural professional core principles, let’s just say that I got all excited.
Here’s my chance to bring the NP to the streets—who cares that it’s not ready yet (red flag alert!)
It was clear we wanted to work together somehow and since my NP offering wasn’t clear, I didn’t present it with clarity (surprise!) In fact, it felt kinda like a fish flopping around in a mud puddle.
And since I was unclear, and rapidly becoming more confused about what my role ought to be, I started looking to her for answers (double red flag alert!)—as if she could know what the best situation could be without adequate input from me.
Now, none of this was all that clear at the time; I’m taking advantage of some serious hind-sight glasses here.
So she started throwing out ideas based on what limited info she had about me and the next thing I know, I agree with what she proposes even though it’s a pale shadow to what I could offer her, which leaves me feeling pigeon-holed into roles from years long gone by.
I know, I know, there are so many things amiss here that it’s borderline absurd. Let me tell ya, it was one week of a very rough head space.
What was going on?!? I’m not entirely sure. All I can say is that it was very confusing in the moment.
And then I saw The Pattern. Oh sadly I’d been there before. I’d given over the power to define my place to another person and then began to believe that’s what I was all about. Whenever I spoke up, the person in the past situation said “No! You are not this, you are that.”
And the worst part is that I let her tell me what I was about. I stuck around. I didn’t heed the red flags. I got screwed.
Oh, happy hind-sight glasses! There you are! Patterns continue until you stop ’em, eh?
We all have our challenges, our issues. One of my lifelong challenges (you may have guessed by now) has been around self-expression: speaking up for myself, communicating what I know to be true, articulating something I sense.
The problem in business with this manifests in the discrepancy between what I sense to be possible (which is what I want to be doing) and what is possible (as indicated by experience).
There are probably a gazillion creatives and entrepreneurs who have similar challenges, because we are always growing, always trying out new ways. The trick is in being able to acknowledge and accept the truth of right now while exploring the new.
Perhaps t’would be wise to keep 75% of one’s being in the tried and true and to allow 25% to experiment with solidifying new inklings. (Of course this is the benefit of being bankrolled—you can flip these two numbers!)
Because with this awareness of how far along my new thing actually it, I can respond appropriately. I can own up to what is needed in the situation based on what I know of my experience.
Which is exactly what I plan to do here (doh! Yup, it’s that current.) Open a conversation with:
- Acknowledging what I had been hoping to do (provide a service prematurely)
- Acknowledging what she’s needing right now.
- Presenting what I’m willing to do, that I’ve done before and can articulate with clarity and confidence, and what that could look like.
This may seem completely “Well, duh, Shawn.” And to think how much headache and soul-ache I’d have avoided if I had gone straight to this brilliant plan…
That’s just the nature of life, eh? In our enthusiasm, we try something new, flop mightily, and then get the wonderful opportunity of cleaning up.
Moral of the story, part I
Try new things. Stretch. Venture out of your comfort zone. And know that screwing up is just fodder for more trust and/or understanding.
Moral of the story, part II
Giving over your power to someone else is sooooo last decade. Seriously.